An Open Letter to Old Friends

I know things are different. I'm different. I'll be the first to admit that so much in my life has over the years. Some changes were ones I chose, and others were changes I never would've chosen for myself. The loss, heartbreak, grief, new beginnings, and seasons of my life have changed me in ways I never expected. No matter how much I tried to hold on, it seems life has pulled us in different directions. More recently, my move to Nevada, which quite literally pulled me in a different direction and not only created space physically, but in some cases, emotionally.

The truth is, friendships can change for many reasons. Sometimes our priorities change, and sometimes life simply just gets busy and before we know it, weeks, months and even years have gone by since we last talked. And sometimes there is no reason at all.

Maybe you thought I should've gotten over things by now. And yes, while I have moved through it and have healed, there are still some days where my grief catches me by surprise. But regardless of how you feel or felt about how I carried my grief, I am still grateful for the support you gave me to help me get through the worst year of my life. Thank you for the phone calls, text messages, hugs, nights out, and distractions that I so desperately needed, and for simply being there.

Conversely, perhaps I wasn't there for you when you needed me. Maybe I should've called more. Shown up differently. Maybe I could've been a better friend to you. If so, I sincerely apologize. I'm sorry for the ways I may have hurt you. It's unfortunate that we couldn't discuss it, as I'd rather be aware of mistakes I made so I could address them instead of not knowing.

While the silence between us has grown, I'll always look back on our friendship with gratitude and love. I'll remember the laughs we shared, the hugs, late night conversations, and the inside jokes. I'm mature enough to accept that maybe we're not meant to walk every mile in this life together. Some people come into our life for a season and that's perfectly OK.

Although we are no longer as close as before, I want you to know that I wish you well, hope you're happy, and I'll continue to support you from the sidelines wherever I am. And if you ever find yourself in a difficult situation and need my help, I hope you know you can reach out to me, and I'll be there.

Love always,

Andrea